A child first
learning to apologize, will typically hang their head low in shame, avoiding
eye contact. The words “I’m sorry” will be soft and meek. Apologizing is publically admitting to doing something
wrong and causing suffering to others. The point of apologizing is to acknowledge
where we have gone wrong so that we may do better going forward. Being forgiven
is just the icing on the cake.
Imagine what
a society would look like if no one ever apologized, if people lived with no
sense of responsibility to others, if they laughed when they were told their
actions or words were hurtful.
On Yom
Kippur, we recite a prayer of confession. We stand together, gently beating our
fists over our hearts, and ask for forgiveness. For literally everything. On
this day, we are talking about our individual transgressions and the
transgressions of the world as a whole. It is a communal apology from everyone
to everyone.
Read more
about the art of the apology in The
Hardest Word, in which God
teaches the mythical ziz bird that all mistakes are fixable if one’s effort is
sincere. And in I’m Sorry, Grover,
Brosh learns a similar lesson: after apologizing to his friends, he vows to be
a better friend in the future.